Family Councils

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This week I decided to try out the family counsel method that I've
been hearing about my whole life. I stayed away for so long because
I'm not into stuffy meetings or doing anything in persona that can
be done via email. (JOKE! But really...) I decided to take the
guidelines I found (From my BYU-Idaho professor, so a reputable source)
and plug my family into the details!

Characteristics of the council the brethren typically have
each week in Salt Lake City:

• Regular time and place to meet (temple each Thursday morning)
• A meeting agenda distributed in advance of the meeting
• Beginning with expressions of love and concern for each member, individually
• Opening with prayer, inviting the Spirit to assist with the process
• A member invited to initiate discussion of the item by defining the problem and current status of decisions, etc.
• Opening for orderly discussion (one at a time, "additive" rather than corrective comments from each member in turn, etc.)
• On-going, focused discussion until consensus is reached, under the clear influence of the Spirit (as opposed to compromise)
• Moving forward with unity in accordance with the decision reached
• Often a snack or other unifying tradition (The brethren often enjoy chocolates and pie when they meet in the temple!)
• Follow-up discussions of results and progress toward determined outcome

We met in the family room on the couch. I went over the agenda before beginning (Like Scott working from home, Emry's behavior issues and need for control, Clifton's growth and desire to share toys, and my increasing work load. And COVID-19 came up a bit.) The baby was sleeping because he would be distracting from the counsel and is too young to contribute.

It was a SUPER great place to talk about stuff! Instead of passively saying, "Your computer is in my dining room. Make sure it stays tidy." The issue arose during the "Scott working from home section." and it went more like, "Hey, I've noticed you working from the table. Are you struggling to find a large enough office space for your work load?" and we discuss it. At the end I threw in, "Let's scooch everything to the corner of the table so Emry can still have ample room to eat without worrying about any food or drink spills ruining your technology items." BAM everyone is happy. WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN.

We avoided repeating each other. We listening and added anything on topic. We avoided going off topic. (Just add it to the list of things to talk about on your agenda! But stay on topic.) Take notes to stay accountable for decisions reached and how the family is reaching the goals. The next family counsel will include a follow up of those actions and decisions, if it made a positive impact, and where to go from there.

Enjoy a nice snack together. We ate hummus and chips. It was great!

For more info, see here on the Church website.